| Thursday, March 19th, 2009 |
| 8:58 am |
:(
I don't know whether I am grossed out more by finding other people's hair in my food, or a 1 foot strand of my own hair in my food. Grow-dee. To the max. |
| Tuesday, November 11th, 2008 |
| 2:40 pm |
I'd be so embarassed if anyone found it.
I just got finished writing my first name + my boyfriend's last name all over a sticky note, balled it up as small as I could and I don't know if I should flush it or eat it. |
| Monday, September 25th, 2006 |
| 6:27 pm |
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| Tuesday, August 15th, 2006 |
| 8:33 am |
Don't say that you love me! Just tell me that you want me.
My pool looks like the popular lemon-lime soft drink from the 90's, Fresca. Actually was it really even popular? Because I thought it tasted of ass. I had to collect a sample of pool water this morning before work to run by the pool supply store so they can test it and tell me what the hell were you thinking getting a pool. You know you won't take care of it and it will be 6,000 gallons of algae water that will eventually be drained off into the neighbors yard. And your child will cry and cry and Mommy, why? Was it because I peed in it after you told me not to? Or what about when I accidentally diarrhea-d into it? And you put so many chemicals in it turned the liner lime green? So, yeah, anyways, I walked out the back door with my empty water bottle and my lunch bag and my purse and dunked the water bottle into the pool to get my sample. And of course my neighbor is outside. Of course. Because who isn't sitting out on their porch at 5:30 in the morning. Everybody gets up that early and just chills on their back porch. Haven't you heard? It's the new sleeping in. And that's when I realized that must have looked like I was filling my water bottle with pool water to take for lunch. BUT I'M ABOVE THAT NEIGHBOR. HA! HA! JUST TO CLARIFY IT'S FOR A POOL SAMPLE! I'VE GOT A REAL BOTTLED WATER IN MY LUNCH BAG!! WANT TO SEE? OH......OK YOU BELIEVE ME? WELL HAVE A GREAT DAY NEIGHBOR! Damn you, Pool. Damn you all to hell. |
| Tuesday, June 20th, 2006 |
| 1:07 pm |
!@#(*&&*(*&^@#$
I "accidentally" answered the phone today and it was a "bill collector" and I ended up having to pay $100 on my Victoria's Secret Credit Card. CURSES! I guess getting my air conditioner fixed in my car will have to wait another week. Which means "Operation: Cute For The Summer" will have to be postponed, YET AGAIN, for another week. Because frizzy hair and make-up sliding off your sweaty face just aint cute. At all. |
| Wednesday, January 4th, 2006 |
| 9:55 am |
Another Terrible Confession
I just told a co-worker that I will be praying for him and his family when he told me his wife had a stroke over Christmas and wasn't doing too well. I never really intend to do it. I don't think I've ever prayed in my life. That is the worst because I say that shit all the time to people. |
| Tuesday, November 8th, 2005 |
| 10:01 am |
Confession:
I just ate a candybar, and I wasn't even hungry. |
| Friday, November 4th, 2005 |
| 1:04 pm |
What in THE HELL is that a picture of on Fiona Apple's new album? |
| Friday, October 14th, 2005 |
| 7:52 am |
Memo
Dear Co-Worker that just told me she had to go "park a bus", #1 I didn't need to know that. #2 Do you not have yourself on a poop schedule where that can be done at home before or after work? #3 That's awesome. Best Regards, JS |
| Monday, October 10th, 2005 |
| 1:10 pm |
These are my favorite abbreviations that I love to use in everday emails to my co-workers. In order of importance / use: 1. WTF 2. BFD 3. ESAD* 4. SYGDW** In other old news, George Bush does not care about black people. -------- *Eat Shit and Die **Stop Your God Damn Whining |
| Friday, September 23rd, 2005 |
| 1:27 pm |
So, my 7 year old wants a puppy, right? I mean because what kid doesn't want a puppy? So I ask him what kind of dog he wanted and he said, a stray. Oh, God love him. |
| Friday, February 18th, 2005 |
| 2:18 pm |
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